11/6/2016 - 7.50pm

Bila elok berjujur,

Dia petah mengherdek,

Bila bagus diterang,

Dia pantas menghitung,

Bila cepat menitis,

Dia bangkah menepa,

Dan pada saat tu,

Diri baru tersedar,

Manusia mudah ludah,

Cuma kerana "misunderstanding"

Aku pilih untuk diam. 

Sampai masanya bila semua dah bersedia, kita mula balik.

Bukan sorang menghukum tidak memberi peluang 

atau

Bukan sorang yang berfikir untuk terus menang dan terus membisu.

6.5.2016

" We complain about the things we have and wish for something we can't have.

 Perhaps when everything's gone then only we'll learn to be grateful."


Who are you to tell me about the things that i should and should not say or do. It has nothing to do with you? Go mind your ass somewhere else. Go
Don't tell people about how to look like. It's judgmental people like you who make this world full of people with insecurities and depression.

I'm glad that i was smart enough not to love a prick like you. I knew that I shouldn't trust you and I'm not faling into your trap. I have moved on and almost forget you exist. Heck you're so unimportant now.

Sometimes having mixed feelings about something for too long can stress out and make us feel like crying for no specific reason. When aa my diploma will over? I just can't hold all the bullshit that people gave to me. It's too much der

Have a competitive friends is okay, but when they decide to show off everything that they had is boo. Normal if we both try to compete each other in study, but it become fucking asdfghjkl if you show me that you hate me if you see me study. Like how you do that aa? 
Alhamdulillah I'm still thinking my family.
 So whether I learn, study and whatever I do 
I know, it's simply to make them proud of me one fine day. & the most important thing,
 I do it for myself.
I have no idea how to make everyone satisfied with what I do. 

People may got everything that I can't, & sometimes you should give some space to me with not to throw the insecurities and depression. 
Allah Maha Adil

One Kind Of Pain.

" You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world,

 but you have to some say in who hurts you, "

I'm such a shitty writer. But I need to let my thoughts out. Am I lack of sleep these day? I could just say yes. Nothing much in my mind, just the same damn thoughts every night before I sleep, and every morning when I wake up *long sigh*. Eating my favorite meal doesn't taste the same anymore, waking up doesn't feel the same anymore, everything feels different to me. Maybe this is what pain feel like. But that is something about pain you know. It demands to be felt. But as long as I'm alive, I'll survive. That is what being said by most people.

The universe wants to be remembered. So do I. Maybe I'm afraid of the idea  that I'll be forgotten, I'll be replaced and I'll just be someone from the past. But that is the awful truth, it happens, it will be happen. I can't fathom how love could hurt this much. However, the beauty of love is pretty much seen when it takes you to sacrifice, to give up, to let go. Not because the love you have for the person is not real, it is too real that it causes you to let it go. But it doesn't mean it's not there anymore, it's still there, somewhere deep inside you. You just gotta stop showing it. 

As much as I hate this quote ; 

" Sometimes you are meant to love each other, but you're not meant to be together."

But here I am, living with it. It is so unfair. I couldn't digest it.

The world itself is not a wish granting factory. We can always have wishes,dreams, expectations, you name it. But we don't always get what we want.  - For all my life, I'll wonder why.

Penat jadi Hipokrit

Emosi terganggu.

 Jiwa sakit. 

Hati lemah. 

Hanya aku yang tahu semua rasa itu. hanya aku yang tahu betapa sakitnya. kau berubah cepat. 

Walau perubahan kau hanya sekecil zarah, aku tahu. 

Kau pasti bahagia di atas derita aku

Bercerita soal hati.

 Apa itu hati?

 Kenapa mesti hati ni mengada ngada sangat? 

Tersentuh sikit sakit.

 Terasa sikit sakit. Mengadanya…. 

Macam lah hati ni anak Raja.

 Ada pangkat Dato

 atau mungkin keturunan Angelina Jolie. 

Ahhh bukan. Hati ada pada setiap manusia.

 Hati perlu dijaga. Dibersihkan tiap hari. Dibelai dan dipujuk agar tidak sakit. 

Sakit? 

Ahh sama seperti hati aku sekarang. 

Rasa macam dah punah. 

Rabak macam kertas surat khabar dalam tong. 

Sedih.

 Diri sendiri sahaja yang faham apa yang diri sendiri rasa.

 Menyampah.

 Serabut.

 Semuanya dusta. 

Penat jadi hipokrit

#Bestfriend

I've always dreamed I would go through life and suddenly realize what I want to do when I'm older. And suddenly I realize every solution to all the problems I have, but that's not how this world works. We have to work for the things we want and if we don't work for them no matter how much we want them, we wont get them.

How do we work for love? You either love me or you don't and you've decided you don't. How do I keep going, what do I have to work for. I have the job I want, I have the money I need, but what good is all of that without the person I love?

I never meant for it to end this way

 I never meant to hurt you with the words that were supposed-to-heal-you

 I never meant to leave you or make you made

ALL I WANTED WAS SOME UNDERSTANDING TO HOW YOU THOUGHT OF ME AND YOU MADE IT SEEM LIKE I WAS ATTACKING YOU.

I told them you were different, but you're just looking for a fight to pick.....

 Sometimes you seem so good and okayy, but really now you're not what I see before and 

yes I knew you've been hurt so much by someone who don't deserve your heart

I just want you to know that I'm here for you even anything & whatever you do is always like to comparing me with/by your babygirls from other side. I'm okay if you don't post about me. I'm okayy baby, I know you tried so hard to take care our feeling ( bcs you & your babygirls know each other more than I do ) I love you so much @Siti Nurbaiti Najiihah Binti Razali

 

Make today count

I constantly wonder how my life looks in other people’s eyes.

 Do the think I have it easy?

 Do they think I have nothing going on for myself? 

Or are the fascinated with who I am? 

The thing is that no one will ever know my whole story. No one will ever know the things I’ve had to overcome. Not even my closest friends, not even my own family. The thing is that people are so quick to judge now a days. You only see a person from what they want and allow you to see. I always try to look as put together as I can, and I guess that’s my way of hiding from the truth. It’s just that way that everyone will assume that everything in my life is okay. That I never go through anything. If only everyone knew how broken I am, and how I’m holding on for dear life on this one last strand that’s recently become very delicate. 

The truth is that no one really knows me.

 No one will ever know me,

 and sometimes that scares me,

 because no one will ever know why I am the way I am.

I’m not always as confident as I seem. There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don’t want to talk about what is bothering me. Sometimes I just want a hug. Someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me – when people aren’t afraid to show what they’re really feeling. I don’t like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn’t do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt.
I know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh.

 I’ve been taken advantage of, used, and abused. 

My feelings have been blatantly disregarded.

 But I still believe that all people are good at heart. And my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest,
I hope it never does. Ever.
Keep going. No matter what you do, no matter how many times you screw up and think to yourself “there’s no point to carry on,” no matter how many people tell you that you can’t do it – keep going. Don’t quit.
 Don’t quit,
 because a few months from now you will be that much closer to your goal than you are now.
Yesterday you said tomorrow.
 Make today count.